Funny ways to say grace before a meal

Funny ways to say grace

Be sure to say Amen at the end.

(It's OK, God has a sense of humor...if you don't believe me, just look at a giraffe. Who do you think designed those?)

Due to popular demand and the repeated suggestions of quite a few people, including many I don't even know, I'm making my services available. You can now have me write poems, eulogies, prayers, wedding vows, birthday greetings, toasts, speeches or anything else. Click here to see samples of my work and to find out more.

(All of these prayers are original work by Keith Rawlinson, Eclecticsite.com.)

Just plain funny prayers...

Our Heavenly Father, we thank you for
this food, and humbly request that
you perform a miracle and remove
the calories from dessert.

Lord, please demonstrate your mercy by blessing this food.
I'm not a very good cook so it really needs it!

Lord, please bless this sumptuous feast,
and bless the pizza guy who delivered it.

Our heavenly Father, we thank you for this food we are about to receive...well,
everything except the liver and maybe the cauliflower.

Dear Lord, please bless...oh never mind,
even you wouldn't bless this slop!

Funny prayers that rhyme...

Lord, we know without a doubt
you'll bless this food
as we pig out.

Lord bless my family and may they be nice
when they realize I dropped the food on the floor twice.

Bless this food before us set,
it needs all the help that it can get.

Bless this food you've provided for me,
delivery was late so I got it for free.

Lord, bless this food, and then bless it some more.
I know it needs blessing 'cuz I've eaten here before!

Thank you for teaching me gratitude with this delicious bread and meat.
Thank you for teaching me patience while waiting 'til time to eat.
Thank you for teaching me faith, expecting food and never having doubts.
Thank you for teaching me suffering by providing these brussel sprouts.

You can now have me write poems, eulogies, prayers, wedding vows or anything else.
Click here to see samples of my work and to find out more.

Be sure to check out the other funny things on my Anything Goes page and in the humor section of Inspiration Corner.

If you enjoyed this page, I have a lot of other great stuff on Eclecticsite.com

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